Archives For sabbath

It’s Official

bob —  November 16, 2011

Yup- it’s official.
Between school, ministry, family, the side business that pays for school, I officially have more to do than time in which to do it. And that doesn’t even include the things I would LIKE to be doing, but just don’t have time for right now, things like exercise and reading for enjoyment… And blogging.

As with most of life, I think the secret here is a matter of perspective. Generally, in the past I’ve allowed a wrong perspective to make things worse/harder.

So, with that in mind, here are some things I’m trying to keep in mind.

1. This is a season. Whatever stress I’m feeling is time-limited. Usually we lose hope when we buy into the lie that how things are is how things will always be. We do that in good times (and so are constantly surprised by hard times when they come) and we do it in the hard times as well. And in doing so, we turn what is effectively a sprint into an endless marathon, mentally, and lose the perspective of the finish line. That perspective is vital in tough times- even when we don’t know exactly where or how far off the finish line is, just knowing it’s there can keep us from despair. “This too shall pass.”

2. I’m thankful… Let me rephrase… I’m TRYING to be thankful for times that increase my sense of reliance on God. Yes, faith in God is a crutch. Absolutely. And we ALL have broken legs. The sooner we realize that, the better off we are. And anything or anyone that helps me recognize that should be seen as a gift. I could choose to live my life in such a way that I was never stretched beyond the limits of my own internal resources. It would be comfortable and to a certain extent, easy. It would also be devoid of any sense of purpose beyond my own comfort and any sense of making a difference for anyone else. To move into that territory, we are talking about, by definition, what’s beyond me. And for that, I need God. I need to live in and out of that same power that raised Christ from the dead. I need the Holy Spirit on a moment-by-moment basis as a guide, a teacher, and encouragement, a check to my conscience and more. I need others to play that role too- so community and family are essential. But without that baseline of the Holy Spirit’s active presence in my life, I’m sunk.

3. And lastly, in these moments of busyness, activity and overwhelming demands, I need the Gospel. I NEED the Good News that my life, and the justifying of my existence does not rest on my shoulders. It rests on the shoulders of Someone infinitely more able to carry that weight than I. I look to Jesus and am so grateful that the real work of my life is hands more capable than mine. And in knowing that, I can take my energy and put it, rather than to justifying myself or trying to earn something from God, to things I CAN control- growing in the love of God and my neighbor.

Thank you God for times of frenetic activity that make those times of rest and sabbath even more sweet. Help me to live in that sabbath-rest mindset, even as I work hard physically and mentally. Help me to rest in the finished work of Christ so that the work I do comes from a place of gratitude and service and not endless self-justification, and so that when the end of the week comes, the most natural thing in the world becomes laying it down and adding physical rest to the spiritual rest I’ve been enjoying all along.

After 7 years, a Sabbatical

bob —  April 19, 2011

When a friend told me last time at this year that traditionally, year 7 is the hardest year for church plants/church planters, I thought "hmmmm" and filed that away for future reference. We had just celebrated our 6 year mark as a church and I was already beginning to see signs of what he was talking about- both within our community and within my own soul. 

At 7, nothing is new anymore- and the energy that sustained you in your "newness" is scarce. People you thought might be with you forever, or at least for awhile longer begin to fade away in search of other things. Staff/leadership relationships begin to creak a bit with age. 

And if you are a church planter, after 7 years, you are tired

So many nights laying awake wondering where so-and-so went, if the marriage of your close friends is going to make it, if the faith someone you baptized who seemed so excited but now seems so not is going to make it… Week after week of set-up, admin, sermon prep, trying to coach, encourage or even cajole people into creating the kinds of ministries they are complaining to you about not having. Times when the tank is full and times when it is empty- but empty or full, you still have to pull something out of it for others. 

I knew going in this great adventure of church planting would be hard- what I couldn't see was how hard it would on my own heart and soul. How even the good and best parts of ministry still take so much out of you.  And especially how the hard parts take a toll- others second guessing your leadership decisions, complaining about things they could easily pitch in to change or create. Baptisms are wonderful, but just as often people say "I think I'm done with faith." Ministry is messy, and for most average, non-mega-church pastors, it's largely thankless.

Which is why I'm SO grateful for our elders and our community. 

Last summer, we began talking about the possiblity of me taking a sabbatical after our 7 year mark. It's a pretty standard practice in ministry to allow a pastor some extended time off after 7 years, and truthfully, I think that over the last year our elders have seen me fraying at the edges and really running out of steam. 

So, in mid-December it moved from discussion to instruction. They told me I needed to take some time away.

That was just what I needed to hear. 

Since then, I've been able to sleep better, rest more… Just knowing that a break was coming has enabled me not only to navigate some hard leadership waters these last few months, but even begin to crawl back a bit from the edges of exhaustion. At this point, I'm not only ready for a break, but feel as though I may actually have the energy to enjoy it. Which again, I'm grateful for…

So, we've announced to our community that from May through July I'm going to be taking a break from the work of ministry. Our family will still be around- I'm looking forward to actually just attending our church and sitting with my wife and kids in our gathering. It's been, uh… never, since we've been able to do that- I've been working at churches our entire marriage. While I hope to take a break from the work part, I really want to remain present in some ways- that is, take a break from work, not from community. I also want to visit some other communities and see what else God is doing here in PDX.

My spiritual director is going to help me with those parts with some regular check-ins to make sure I'm not sneaking in any work- physically or mentally. As he says, "Sabbatical" comes from "Sabbath."

And so, to that end, some things I hope to do on my Sabbatical:

1. Sleep 

2. Break this writer's block

3. Enjoy and be enjoyable to my family

4. Eat, Pray, Love

5. We're going to Disneyland!

6. Week at Richmond Hill Abbey in Richmond VA

7. Road trip with Jack, my 7 year old son

8. Sleep some more. 

 

And who knows… maybe some blogging too :)