Of this blog mocking me with it's un-updated presence. Only one thing for it then…
Time to start writing again. By a sheer ACT OF MY WILL…
Archives For blog jive
Especially when looking at the searches that lead to my blog.
"naughty pastors wives"… Really? Really???
Sheesh. Get a life, man.
You'll notice the blog has been a bit more… sporadic… lately.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, but I want to remember what I wrote just a few months ago:
Limitations
I've been thinking through the issue of why I haven't been blogging as much… that's probably a nice way to put it, yeah? Truthfully, these last three months have found my blog laying by the side of the road like a wounded lemur. Will no one stop to help?
Anyway…
I've been (somewhat) enjoying the break, feeling a strange freedom from expression. It's not that I haven't had thoughts these last few months- I just haven't shared many with you. Naughty, I know. But maybe necessary.
Maybe a break has been just what I needed, and more than the few weeks' hiatus that generally occurs around December. Maybe what I've needed was to reengage with why I do this blog, why I run PastorHacks.com.
Reading Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership has been good for me. Ruth Haley Barton is the real deal, and her wisdom for those trying to engage the difficult life of leadership as well as the disciplines which do (or rather, must) undergird it are invaluable.
Here's what she said that stopped me in my tracks and convinced me I needed to do more of a reevaluation than simply taking a breather when it came to blogging and websites and the like:
"There is something deeply spiritual about honoring the limitations of our lives and the boundaries of what God has given us to do as leaders. Narcissistic leaders are always looking beyond their sphere of influence with visions of grandiosity far out of proportion to what is actually being given. Living within our limits means living within the finiteness of who we are as individuals and as a community- the limits of time and space, the limits of our physical, emotional, relational and spiritual capacities, the limits of our stage of life… and the limits of the calling God has given. It means doing this and not that. It means doing this much and not more."
As I read this, I felt the subtle shift inside from "dream big" to "dream deep." There's a time to go all Jabez and try to extend the circle of influence of our lives as widely as possible. And there's a time to recognize that eventually, that becomes counter productive to getting beyond the merely surface level in any area. To truly master something, you have to give yourself to it. You have to say no to a lot of things to say yes to one or two.
Right now, my priorities are serving/worshiping/glorifying God through my family, my church and becoming the person I feel like God has me on track to become. My confession is that those priorities don't always work themselves out in that order and that I continually feel the tug of mission creep. Invitations which appeal to one's ego are difficult to turn down.
The psychic weight of blogging and maintaining readership is honestly something I could live without. It feels at times like simply another obligation.
While I love hearing from people I meet that something I wrote has helped them or contributed to their church planting/pastoral/personal journey, I recognize that I love it both in a healthy and unhealthy way.
At my worst moments, I recognize that this whole thing of blogs and stats, of links and hat tips is an ego booster that needs to be kept in check. Scratch that. "In check" doesn't get it. "Killed" or more precisely "crucified" would be the right way to say it. To the extent I allow my identity to be based on being known and appreciated for writing or a blog, I'm actually feeding a cancer on my soul that, uncrucified will leave me a self-centered husk who cares more about stats than anything else.
Something I care about will get crucified. And it's either going to be my ego or more important things (like family, church, etc). Worst case scenario thinking, I know. But I'm pretty good at looking down the road and playing out consequences, and I'll just have to ask you to trust me on this one.
So, is this my "Dear Bob.Blog Readers" letter of dropping out of the blog world?
No.
But it is an admission that my family is more important than you, my church is more important than you, and my personal mental/spiritual/emotional health is more important. For me, right now, I have to stop thinking as broadly as I have, I have to stop trying to "influence the conversation."
"When we refuse to live within our limits (one of my deepest temptations), we wear out ourselves and those who lead with us. We compromise the quality of our relationships with God and the people around us. We compromise our effectiveness at doing the things we have been called to do. To live within our limits is to live humbly as the creature, not the Creator. Only God is infinite; the rest of us need to be very clear about what we are about in any given moment and say no to everything else."
I think it's a particular pastoral temptation to be dissatisfied with the ministry and situation God has given me- to dream constantly of bigger and better, of more influence and respect, to lose sight of what's now because we focus so much on what's next.
It's a given that I'm a husband and father and need to constantly renew my commitment to placing them first. I'm also a pastor. God has given me a church. These are my people. And in ten years I want to be known, not for having written a bunch of stuff that not many people remember, but for having given myself to the care, feeding and encouragement of my family and a group of people called Evergreen. I need to stop mourning the fact that my family and pastoral duties preclude me from writing that book or the killer blog post that will set the internets on fire. The work God has given me for this period of my life is enough to challenge me, t
o sustain me and for me to enjoy setting my hands to.
o sustain me and for me to enjoy setting my hands to.
And enough to form me, I think… to get me where I want to be after 10-15 years- The wise, older man (who may or may not have a grey, balding ponytail- TBD) who can speak into the lives of pastors and mentor leaders and serve the church through serving those who lead.
I guess I'm realizing that for all intents and purposes, I've just been trying to jump that gun a bit.
So I will continue to blog and express myself, but won't obsess over it. I hope what I post will be meaningful first for Evergreeners and where they are at, second for those in ministry or heading that way, and third for those who for one reason or another are interested in what I have to say.
And maybe I'll check the stats a little less too.
A Friday around the room of people/places who dug/took issue with
bob.blog recently (wherein bob shamelessly links to others who have
linked to/mentioned him…uh, all in an effort to gin up some
technorati points)…
Middle Kid/Caught in the Middle has named me as a "thinking blogger"! Rock on. He says: "Bob is pastor of the Evergreen Community in California. He’s emergent-sensitive, humorous and insightful."
Symbiosis dug my dialogue with Geoff Surrat
The boys over at Christian Research Network.info sympathize with the grief I and others take from the likes of Ken Silva…
Aaron Pelly dug what I had to say about the VT incident.
Jr recommends my posts on preaching with dialogue. "They’re quite good." Thanks, man…
Nathan recommends it as well…
Iggy thinks I’ve nailed it when it comes to the biggest problem with emerging church critique
The Blind Beggar also liked the dialogue with Geoff Surrat
The Monday Morning Insight also picked up on said dialogue
Michael Spencer, the iMonk, calls the bob.blog "classy"(!) and says my response to Phil Johnson is a "must read."
Chris did not so much dig the back and forth with Phil Johnson, but my sermon on James 1 was okay
I think John DeMarco thought my recent troubles worth noting
And finally… Phil Johnson didn’t think my thoughts worth comment, but at least worth linking to in the title of this post
I’m selling out! That’s right! Not becoming a wholly owned subsidiary, but…
I got an email this morning:
“Hi Bob,
I’m interested in buying an ad on http://evergreenlife.org/2005/08/next-emergent-facial-hair-style.html. I can pay $30. The ad is for a company that sells luxury shaving kits (good for beard maintenance…) Let me know if you are interested and I will send the ad. Thanks!”
Huh, thinks I… Is this legit? Or will I have some guy in an internet cafe’ in Lagos, Nigeria asking for my bank account so they can wire the money directly to me…
I answered
Tell you what- that’s my old blog- my new one is at http://
bobhyatt.typepad.com. I get around 12-14,000 unique visitors a month.you send me $30 and I’ll happily re-run that blog post and include an
ad for your luxury shaving kit
(I think that’s where the actual transaction for my soul took place… pressing “send” on that email…
The reply came:
“Hi Bob,
Thanks for your quick reply. I’m still interested in putting an ad on your old blog for $30, if you can do it (that’s how I found it and I think that’s how users would find it.) But also, if you want, I’ll have the shaving stuff sent to you for free and you can review it on your new blog. Let me know what you think.
So… why don’t YOU let me know what you think? Am I ethically challenged?? Have I pimped myself out for a luxury shaving kit and $30? Or is this a perfectly reasonable return on the effort of creating a blog a few people read? Does the fact that I am a pastor in any way enter into this? Or is this just good ol’ capitalism at work?
Okay- now that the hoopla from the New York Times article has died down… I’m going to debling my blog. And hopefully my mom (and other Internet Explorer users) will be able to read it again without having a “stack overflow” error that crashes their whole machine.
Ahh… Microsoft.
If you are coming here from the NYT, welcome…
I do have a bunch of crap on my blog, widget-wise that is, but I don’t think it’s all that much out of control
That being said, some brief info.
I’m the pastor of a new (under 3 years) church called The Evergreen Community. Since our beginning we’ve met on Sundays in a pub, though I hope we aren’t just “pub church” but rather a group of people honestly journeying together in this thing of trying to seek God and live life in the way of Jesus.
It’s a struggle to try to separate out Jesus from all the accretions the church has managed to pile on top of Him over the last years… and some times we manage to do that, and sometimes we seem to add our own junk to the pile.
But we try. We try because we’ve found that there’s something about Jesus that’s worth the effort… a lot of us came to evergreen tired, burned out on church and religion and were maybe giving it one last shot. I know that’s how I felt shortly before starting the church, and I’m the pastor.
Here’s the thing- absent the creepy marketing and program-driven madness of “bigger is better!!”, and re-focused around the person of Jesus and taking care of one another, church can actually be this life-enriching thing to involve yourself in- a community where you find people to struggle with, not against, a place where you help each other focus on the transcendent and not merely the grind… a place where and a people with whom God is found.
As for this blog, I write mainly with pastors in mind, so things tend to get a bit solipsistic at times- I figure if I’m struggling with it, someone else wearing shoes very like mine probably is as well…
If you want to know more about any of this, or if you are interested in hearing more about church done differently, check out some of the articles to the side… like Escape From Consumer Church
Anyway, sorry for the pitch. Hope it wasn’t creepy marketing. Just thought I’d give you a thumbnail on what makes this blog tick
(By the way… I also run the site PastorHacks.net, dedicated to pastoral productivity hacks, and am the editor for the online e-zine Next Wave, dedicated to discussing church and culture. Check ‘em out…)
So… It wasn’t exactly how I had envisioned making the NY Times, but I guess it’s better than, say, a perp walk.
Welcome NYT readers… Enjoy the blog!
UPDATE: If you have a widget you want to let people know about, feel free to post a link in the comments to this post! Today’s the day- more than 1200 visitors, just before 8am!
I got an honorable mention from gepapa… but I got best in show from Philosophy Over Coffee
Thanks guys!