Today, I did something I’ve been dreaming about for probably 20+ years.
I signed my first book contract with a Publisher.
And it was… nice.
Not amazing, not “get-a-picture-of-me-signing-this!”… that’s right, not even quite a Kodak moment (can we still have those?).
And that in itself was really amazing.
As I mentioned in my last post, I went through a time of pretty obsessive blogging. Obsessive checking of stats, celebration of link-backs, thinking about “my platform”… the whole nine yards, as it were. And the entire time, always thinking about that moment when I got the ultimate recognition- a publisher who’d take me seriously.
Coincidentally, during all of this, I was preaching to people that they shouldn’t base their identity on things like what others thought of them, how well they were doing in achieving their goals, etc.
Yeah, I know.
Eventually though, it sunk in. It took a season away from blogging, away from worrying that if I didn’t write, didn’t comment on the latest Driscoll silliness or get a certain amount of retweets and hat-tips I’d lose that sense of identity I had built around writing.
I know I’m still not out of the woods. I know an identity based on what Jesus thinks of me, not what you, the ethereal reader, thinks of me is a constant struggle to maintain. Refocusing daily on Christ, remembering what He’s done for me, constantly pushing down the ego needs of a heart dead set on gaining approval from a myriad of other sources rather than the rock-solid affirmation of the love of God, that continues to be the work of my life.
And it will be even through writing what I hope will be many more blog posts, articles and books. Writing because I think it’s helpful for others and I have something I can and should say, not because I want to be seen as the guy who has written something.
That’s a fine line.
Wish me luck in keeping that balance.
Oh… and buy my book!